Katy Perry opened up a bit to Chelsea Handler on the comedian’s Dear Chelsea podcast about the work she and her partner Orlando Bloom do to keep their relationship healthy. The two are in therapy, and both did the Hoffman Process (a kind of week-long therapy retreat) at different parts of their relationship.
Perry was addressing a viewer, who asked how she could yell less with her boyfriend.
Perry addressed the habit of yelling first, then the benefit of couple’s therapy: “I have found that—I know it sounds also like a cliché—but like three deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. It just like expands your options in your brain to think differently than like ‘red, red, red.’ And I think you’re [Chelsea] correct about the whole—I know what it’s like to have been yelled at as a child so like remembering that and kind of going like, ‘Oh, that never worked with me,’ and knowing it’s not going to work with the other person.”
“Your partners usually see your best and a lot of your worst sides because they’re there to be your mirrors,” Perry continued. “Orlando and I do couple’s therapy, and we love it because it keeps us in tune, and the resentment can get really strong when you’re both working hard. And god bless successful people in the spotlight, and so when you want to come back to being normal in a domesticated world where you have a child and stuff like that, you have to really learn how to be kind of different out there in the big and in the small. And so we’ve had a lot of success with that couple’s therapy.”
“But she [the viewer] asked if there was a treatment or something like that,” Perry added. “I went to this place—I’m sure you’ve heard of it—called the Hoffman Process. And I went there—Orlando went before me.”
Perry then addressed their breakup and what caused it. “[This was when] we were dating. He came back after going and wasn’t leaning into all of my bullshit and so it was boring. It became boring, and I was like, ‘We’re breaking up then!’ And then I had the worst year of my life—not just because of relationships but a lot of different things were changing and shifting for me in which I really truly believe was an opportunity for me to evolve and grow. It was like, here we are at the fork in the road. Are you going to take the L or are you going to take the R? And so a year later later I went to the Hoffman Process, and it’s amazing because it’s a week-long process, and they do give scholarships out. It’s kind of expensive but I’d say it’s the best value. You have no cell phone and you just go kind of deep through exercises with other people actually, which is great because they trigger you the whole time and then you work through those triggers. But basically, it’s a place you get to go to where you re-wire the neuro-pathways in your mind and you get to discover. There’s so much awareness. You get to discover why you have these patterns and habits and where they’re coming from and all it’s really coming from mom or it’s coming from dad. So if you’re yelling, who yelled at you? It’s a learned thing. It profoundly changed my life. It’s the #1 thing I recommend when someone is ready for that next level in life.”